UBC - Day 2 Tips for Carers - Organised

Ultimate Blog Challenge - Day 2

I don't think that anyone gets up and decides that they want to be a carer, and it was never anything that ever crossed my mind that one day I would be looking after my mother.  You grow with expectations that you will see your parents live to a ripe age in relatively good health, and in turn see your children and your children's children grow up, but when your parent gets ill you realise that it is not going to happen like that.  There was no manual, no preparation, no guidance only fear, loss and sadness.

Mum when we were kids

In the beginning I didn't want to ask for help thinking that I should know how to look after my mum, and thought that asking for help would be seen as a sign of weakness.  The very thought of admitting that there was even something wrong in my mind reflected on who I was as a person.

Mum spending time with me at my home when I was 25

I found that being organised in your feelings and emotions is a way to take some of the stress out of what is needed.  This revelation came quite by chance.  I began to separate the functional needs from the emotional ones and this made it easier to deal with what had to be done, and it allowed me time to deal with how I felt about the situation.

Organised

When I allowed myself to just think about what had to be done practically, like taking mum in her wheelchair to the doctors for a check up, all I allowed myself to do was walk through all the practicalities, and give myself enough time to get there.  I didn't think about how I felt about doing it, or how sad I felt about her having to use the wheelchair, all I focused on was that the wheelchair gave us flexibility and we were able to get where we needed quicker than if she had to walk, it also took some of the strain and stress off her as I then didn't become frustrated with thinking about whether we would be on time or not.

Emotional

Mum and Robert at a family sports day

I know that at some point I am going to get emotional about the fact that mum cannot do what she used to.  If you are a carer you will have shed tears of frustration, loss, sorrow, or sobbed when tired and just wanted it all to stop.  I questioned how much longer I would have to care for her, and the lost of time that will not be refunded when I couldn't be with my son in the early days.  All these emotions need to be addressed and need to be heard and dealt with.  In later posts I will share some of the ways in which you can use creative activities. 

For today try and organise the tasks that you need to do and find a gentle way of dealing with the emotional issues that come up

                         

You can also click on the 'Celebrating life' image to be taken to the rest of the posts

Yesterday was International Day of Older Persons, what did you managed to do to celebrate the life of an elderly person. You don't have to wait for one special day but can do a little something every day, hear their stories, pass these stories onto the young and continue to celebrate their contribution to your lives and your communities. 

Also check out Silver Sunday which is an annual day of fun and free activities for older people across the UK. Led by The Sir Simon Milton Foundation, it celebrates older people and their contribution to our communities while combating loneliness and isolation. Everyone can get involved, and you can organise your own event, spread the word, or simply attending an activity. Silver Sunday will take place on 5th October 2014!

Reflections and Image - Amanda Trought, Realityarts

Ultimate Blog Challenge - Day 1 - 31 Tips for Carers and more!

I am taking part in the Ultimate Blog Challenge where you post every day for the month of October.  I am looking forward to visiting new blogs, gleaning new information and be inspired.  It starts today, and it really makes you wonder where all the year has gone to.

It will be a challenge, and it will also be great if you can stop by for these posts, and check out some of the others that I will be posting.

My focus for the month will be about identifying 31 tips or nuggets of inspiration that might help you if you are a carer, or know someone who is a carer or about to take on the caring role.  My focus is dementia as that is where my experience lies as I look after my mother, but you can adapt it for any other caring setting. I will also include things that you can do for yourself as the carer.  I have written about my journey as a carer and when I did the A-Z challenge a few years ago I focused on aspects of care and things that I had come to my attention as I navigated the role.  I will share a link to the posts at the end of each day and you can go and check them out.

Whilst my mother is physically unable to do much for herself and now uses a wheelchair some of the suggestions will suit both the wheelchair bound and those who are able to walk about. 

Thinking about these activities and tips have helped me, there has been help and support along the way but it didn't always come easy and I have had to adapt to suit our particular situation.  It is not an exhaustive list of ideas but but it is a start and might help you along the way, and help you incorporate creativity into your lives.  I hope that it can be of use to you, share with others, let me know what has worked for you In all cases, adapt to suit your needs and circumstances and above all have fun and be thankful for the day that you have regardless what you are able to do.



Here is the first of the A-Z challenge posts that I have shared that will help you understand our story - A is for Alzheimer’s  You can also click on the 'Celebrating life' image to be taken to the rest of the posts

Today is International Day of Older Persons, what ever you can do to celebrate the life of an elderly person will mean so much in the life of another, do you have any elderly relatives, neighbours that you can check up on and see if there is anything you can do to assist.  Celebrate their contribution to your lives and your communities.  

Also check out Silver Sunday which is an annual day of fun and free activities for older people across the UK. Led by The Sir Simon Milton Foundation, it celebrates older people and their contribution to our communities while combating loneliness and isolation. Everyone can get involved, and you can organise your own event, spread the word, or simply attending an activity.   Silver Sunday will take place on 5th October 2014!

So there we have it, quite a lot to think about and while you prepare yourself for a month of insight, reflection and creativity the first tip is this:

Reflections and Image - Amanda Trought - Realityarts