L is for Love

A trip to Portugal 2008, mum decides to show everyone how it's done!

I have grown to accept the changes that happened and will continue to happen in regards to my mothers health.  Before I understood how dementia affected the brain I thought mum was doing things on purpose –  moving and mislaying things, or saying insensitive things to hurt.  I realised that her love for me had not changed and neither should mine for her.  You can’t see the dementia but only experience the effects of the illness and so it's harder to come to terms with the person that you love changing.  You have to learn to put all that aside.

I feel the child in me wanting to be loved in the way mum used to express it, with hugs and caring words, or a soothing song at bedtime.  We have to now embrace the children we are inside remember to nurture the hurt we feel at the loss of those we love.

Words so far....

A is for Alzheimer’s, B is for Behaviour, C is for Carer, D is for Dependant, E is for Enough, F is for Fear, G is for Guilt, H is for Health Professionals, I is forIdentity, J is for Judgement K is for Knowledge

These posts are part of the A-Z Challenge taking place during the month of April.  I have been sharing about my experience as a carer to a mother with Dementia.  If you would like to know more join the Arts in Health Network and also check out my website for information on some of the work I have done with Creativity and Dementia.

K is for Knowledge

What do they really know about dementia?...., The carers are becoming the professionals dealing not only with the emotional aspects but the physical, and psychological day in and out of the role, their knowledge and understanding increases, but they don't have the space to share...

I have come across many service providers whose work impacts on the elderly and carers that haven’t had any training in dementia care.  In my own role I have had to learn to interpret my mothers every action from why she is doing something that seems irrational to what she could possibly be trying to communicate, on top of ensuring she has a good quality of life. This has taken time, a lot of reflection and asking myself how would I feel if it were me in her position..!.

More and more organisations are consulting with carers getting them to share their experience with health care professionals.  I am currently involved in delivering workshops to students who are training to be social workers and helping them to not only understand but relate to the role of the carer - I have been able to develop a series of talks using creative activities. I think that it is vital for the carer as well as those who have to interact with them to have a basis for understanding just how complex the role can be, and ensure that there are opportunities for sharing experiences and increased dialogue that can only bring about positive change.

Words so far....

A is for Alzheimer’s, B is for Behaviour, C is for Carer, D is for Dependant, E is for Enough, F is for Fear, G is for Guilt, H is for Health Professionals, I is forIdentity, J is for Judgement

These posts are part of the A-Z Challenge taking place during the month of April.  I have been sharing about my experience as a carer to a mother with Dementia.  If you would like to know more join the Arts in Health Network and also check out my website for information on some of the work I have done with Creativity and Dementia.

365 Days of Colour - Flower of the Day 300 - 306

Development

Continuous development ensures growth.  The way in which you choose can be varied and can take on many forms.  Making sure you have a plan for the development will enable you to keep an eye on whats going on and what you need to do next....

Day 300

Reflection 

Keep going, your getting close, doors are opening.. 

Quote 

Enthusiasm is not an emotional state. It is a spiritual commitment, a loving surrender to our creative process. Enthusiasm (from the Greek, “filled with God”) is an ongoing energy supply tapped into the flow of life itself.  – Unknown 

Scripture 

Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be shaken but endures forever. Psalm 125:1

Day 301

Reflection 

You are blessed more than you know... 

Quote 

Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time....Thomas Merton 

Scripture 

Blessed are the pure in heart; for they shall see God. Matthew 5:8

Day 302

Reflection 

You are a blessing to many 

Quote 

It’s kind of fun to do the impossible....Walt Disney 

Scripture 

The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth. Psalm 145:18

Day 303

Reflection  

Rejection is a part of life, don’t dwell in it, move on, don’t give up.. 

Quote 

Art should be something like a good armchair in which to rest from physical fatigue...Henri Matisse 

Scripture 

Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Romans 5:1

Day 304

Reflection 

You inspire others by being you... 

Quote 

To love what you do and feel that it matters- how could anything be more fun? Katherine Graham 

Scripture 

I am still confident of this; I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Psalm 27:13

Day 305

Reflection 

The answers are there, you need to ask the right questions.... 

Quote 

These then are my last words to you: be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact. ...William James 

Scripture 

No one who is born of God practices sin, because His seed abides in him; and he cannot sin, because he is born of God  1 John 3:9

Day 306

Reflection 

Take time to renew and recharge your batteries 

Quote 

Art is like singing. Some do it better than others, but everyone can and should be doing it for their soul. ...Barbara Mason 

Scripture 

He is the Rock, His works are perfect, and all His ways are just.  A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is He. Deuteronomy 32:4

J is for Judgement

I hated the thought of admitting I was finding hard to cope with my mums increasing memory loss, with a young son who didn’t understand why his mum had to stay at Grans practically 5 nights a week and the stress that it put on my own health.  I felt if I really admitted that I needed help that it was a sign of weakness...I should be able to look after my family after all!

What I realised as my experience of the illness grew was that despite what anyone thought  it wasn’t a sign of weakness admitting that I was finding it hard to carry on as it was.  The help was there you had to know how to shout loud enough and often enough and then it came in drips and drabs, but you had to keep shouting to let your voice be heard.

You also had to deal with the 'one label fits all' – as a carer it is hard to have a life outside of your role, your role defines you and when health professionals see you they don’t often have the time to see the life behind the tag of  'carer', what the person did or the life they had before they had to take on the role.  It's one of the things we have to guard against judging the situation without finding out all the facts and most of all we have to guard against the judgements we can make against ourselves.

Words so far....

A is for Alzheimer’s, B is for Behaviour, C is for Carer, D is for Dependant, E is for Enough, F is for Fear, G is for Guilt, H is for Health Professionals, I is for Identity

These posts are part of the A-Z Challenge taking place during the month of April.  I have been sharing about my experience as a carer to a mother with Dementia.  If you would like to know more join the Arts in Health Network and also check out my website for information on some of the work I have done with Creativity and Dementia.