I hated the thought
of admitting I was finding hard to cope with my mums increasing memory
loss, with a young son who didn’t understand why his mum had to stay at Grans practically 5
nights a week and the stress that it put on my own health. I felt if I really admitted that I needed help that it was a sign of weakness...I should be able to look after my family after all!
What I realised as my experience of the illness grew was that despite what anyone thought it wasn’t a sign of weakness admitting that I was finding it hard to carry on as it was. The help was there you had to know how to shout loud enough and often enough and then it came in drips and drabs, but you had to keep shouting to let your voice be heard.
You also had to deal with the 'one label fits all' – as a carer it is hard to have a life outside of your role, your role defines you and when health professionals see you they don’t often have the time to see the life behind the tag of 'carer', what the person did or the life they had before they had to take on the role. It's one of the things we have to guard against judging the situation without finding out all the facts and most of all we have to guard against the judgements we can make against ourselves.
What I realised as my experience of the illness grew was that despite what anyone thought it wasn’t a sign of weakness admitting that I was finding it hard to carry on as it was. The help was there you had to know how to shout loud enough and often enough and then it came in drips and drabs, but you had to keep shouting to let your voice be heard.
You also had to deal with the 'one label fits all' – as a carer it is hard to have a life outside of your role, your role defines you and when health professionals see you they don’t often have the time to see the life behind the tag of 'carer', what the person did or the life they had before they had to take on the role. It's one of the things we have to guard against judging the situation without finding out all the facts and most of all we have to guard against the judgements we can make against ourselves.
Words so far....
A is for Alzheimer’s, B is for Behaviour, C is for Carer, D is for Dependant, E is for Enough, F is for Fear, G is for Guilt, H is for Health Professionals, I is for Identity
These posts are part of the A-Z Challenge taking place during the month of April. I have been sharing about my experience as a carer to a mother with Dementia. If you would like to know more join the Arts in Health Network and also check out my website for information on some of the work I have done with Creativity and Dementia.
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