Showing posts with label well-being. Show all posts
Showing posts with label well-being. Show all posts

Thursday 20 April 2017

Being More Mindful - You can make a change

mind·ful·ness

  • 1.the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something:"their mindfulness of the wider cinematic tradition"
  • 2.a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.

I see Me - Mixed media Art Journal Page - Amanda Trought

It is funny how the simple small things we do can get us taking action, and I had reached what felt like a slump - I knew what I wanted to do, but couldn't seem to move myself into taking action.  The feeling seem to linger and no matter what I tried nothing seem to work long term.

It only takes a slice of cake

After eating a slice of fruit cake one evening, I was met with the usual feelings of aching joints and lethargy which quickly followed by irritated skin.  I vowed not to eat anymore cake, I was done!  I thought of the pain I was feeling and I didn't want to feel it anymore, I wanted to finally take my decisions and life into my own hands.  My family looked at me with amusement as they had heard it all before, they said they would believe it when the see it, but this felt different.  I went further and told my son that if he were to see me eating cake he should rip it out of my hands, and then after thinking about how messy it would be I offered to pay him. My husband decided that he wanted to get in on what he saw as free money and they both rubbed their hands with glee mentally calculating how much they would make off me as I succumbed to the cake.  

I listened to their voices telling me that I couldn't do it and made a decision that I was going to do it, this time would be different!


Making the decision

They laughed and joked about it, but the way I was feeling I felt for sure that I would stick to it.  The more and more I thought about it I felt if I could give up cake then there were other habits that I wanted to address, it was more than just about the cake, and I was up for this challenge!  

After thinking about it for a while I realized that by paying them I was putting the responsibility of not eating cake onto them catching me.  Rather than punish myself for doing wrong I needed to celebrate looking after my body and getting on with the things I wanted to do.  I reasoned that if I really wanted to give up cake then I could, equally whatever other changes that I wanted to make I could put these in place as well.  It all had to do with a mindset change that I needed to just go for it!

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage - Anais Nin


Flipping the switch

A switch flipped and I immediately felt different about how I wanted to treat myself.  If I could change my mind about eating things that were physically affecting me then what else could I do.  I decided that I needed to really look after 'me' rather than just talking about it, but I also had to support myself by gaining wisdom from others who had achieved their goals, and also create a little cheer leading team for myself. 

Wisdom is like the baobab tree; no one individual can embrace it ...

When you are not feeling yourself other things are impacted as well, my creativity suffered the ideas that I would normally work on in my studio couldn't find me as I was dulled by inactivity and I really didn't feel like getting on with the very things that made me feel good or needed to get done.  

As I thought of all these things I knew that change and taking care of myself meant that I needed to really see who I was, wanted to be, do, and all the rest of it.

I SEE ME - Mixed media art
So my mindful acts are a way of getting to know myself, what I want to do, spend time doing the things that nurture and encourage, and included the following:


  • Daily morning walks
  • Getting to bed by 11.30pm - or as close to
  • Daily reading 15 mins minimum
  • Improve Diet -Wheat and dairy free diet, lots of fruit and veg and whole foods, no processed foods
  • Daily Art & Journal writing
  • Listening to motivational and inspiring daily recordings
  • Daily family time
  • End of day review and scheduling work and goals 
All of these things on the list are to get me kick started to change, and to achieve the things that I have been saying I don't have time for, and get me back to the me that I wanted.  When I focus on these things I am reminding myself that I do matter, that showing up for myself reaffirms my own value.

Problems are only opportunities with thorns on them - Hugh Miller

Making a Commitment

When I am feeling tired I remind myself that I made a commitment and that seems to propel me into action, I get my walking gear and within minutes I am out the door.  I have been constantly reminding myself that each action is about showing up for me, and the time is much better spent.  Even reading and committing to doing some reading every day means all the books that I have promising to read I can make time for them now because they are part of my schedule.

Every day that passes I am being shown new insights and ideas and I am learning to value the time that I do have and make the most of the things that I want to do, and celebrating my achievements!  We are all given the same amount of time it depends how we use it, and the value that we place on on our lives.  There is no replay button or do over, so we need to be getting on with these things today!

Walking in your blessings.....

I would love to hear about any changes that you have decided to make in your day to day activities, 
What is it that you have always wanted to do but convinced yourself that you don't have time?
What ways are you going to nurture yourself today?

Monday 23 January 2017

Myeloma Cancer - What can you do?




Happy Birthday Robert Lloyd Trought

Robert, my brother would have been 48 today.  On 2nd June this year it would be 4 years since he passed, I look at the picture and it feels like he was just here.  I never told him enough that I loved, admired and was proud of him.  We can't wait until our loved ones die before or get sick before we tell them how treasured they are.

Robert was loving and encouraging and had 3 gorgeous children and in 2009 he was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma. He fought the disease for 4 years in the percentage of people where the chemo and other debilitating drugs had little effect, the cancer spread all over his body. 
Surely we thought, a Bone Marrow transplant would help - as his sisters we were initially encouraged only to be told we were not a match - how could it be?  

As I look back I there were many things that I could have done differently, and we can't beat ourselves up as we did what we could at the time, I didn't want to deal with the possibility that he wouldn't pull through and hid behind caring for my mother.  The guilt creeps in, the 'would haves', 'should haves', and 'didn't do enough' start to ridicule you for being less than you thought you were.  But you have to make room for action, we will not accept ill health and disease as our fate and fight to find remedies, cures and prevention measures.

Death will come to us all, and we don't want to face it with any regrets.  So now that you have time on your side, be it a day, a week, month or even a year, make the most of it!

I share some of the journey of the time we held on to hope that things would be alright and he would stay with us in the following posts:




In the Memories of Home posts I share memories of growing up that I shared with my brother and sister.




What you can do?

Where ever you are in the world YOU CAN make a difference, find your local organisation and support their work.  

Here in Barbados one of the organisations we have is The Myeloma Lymphoma & Leukaemia Foundation of Barbados you can support by becoming a member $25 and support the events and initiatives that they put on.  We attended their Annual Tea Party, they have a number of acts performing, and it is a lovely event, a lot of work goes into organizing it.


Tea Party, always well attended!



Tea Party Dance Troupe

Co-Founder/President - Hyacinth Grimes

Tea Party Young Steel Pan Band, excellent!
They also do a lot of much needed fund raising as well at different events, malls etc, sharing information about the disease and help available.  So many people who are diagnosed in Barbados face very high medical bills, and are unable to afford some of the treatment that may readily be available in the UK or US.

Information available at their stall in Sky Mall


Member - Daphne Springer sharing her knowledge of blood cancers in Barbados
Contact the The Myeloma Lymphoma & Leukaemia Foundation of Barbados at:
  • Mailing address is P.O. Box 235, Bridgetown, Barbados, or Pine Medical Centre, 3rd Avenue, Belleville, St. Michael, Barbados.
  • Office phone number is (246) 435-3990.
  • General email address is: mllf.org@caribsurf.com
As an artist I will be creating a set of 3 Prints and Cards that you can purchase and 30% of the cost will be donated to the organisation.  I will tell you more in another post over the next few weeks.




Why not think of ways that you can donate or raise funds and do your part.

Donation

We also have a fund raising page in Roberts memory which is supporting Myeloma UK, and Cancer Research please help raise funds for more research, if we all do our bit we can one day find cures to prevent others from loosing their loved ones.

Give Blood/Bone Marrow


Give Blood - If you have had a blood transfusion prior to 1995 you will not be able to give blood see HERE


Check out the following Organsiations

IF YOU WISH TO REGISTER AS A POTENTIAL BONE MARROW, BLOOD OR ORGAN DONOR VISIT: 
ACLT Office - Tel no. 020 8240 4480, 7A Rathbone Square, Tanfield Road, Croydon, CR0 4HA  Please call ACLT office to book a 30 minute appointment. 
NATIONAL BLOOD SERVICE; BLOOD DONATION CENTRES Tel 0300 123 2323
Anthony Nolan Register Tel no. 0303 303 0303You must be aged between 16 and 30 and generally healthy
DKMS - DELETE BLOOD CANCER Tel no. 020 8735 4230To everyone over 30 who can't join the Anthony Nolan bone marrow register. You can now join via DKMS ‘Delete Blood Cancer' Please CLICK HERE They will register potential bone marrow donors from 17 to 55 years. You must weigh over 7st 12Ibs in weight

Robert, see, your memory lives on in our hearts through your children, family and friends!  So too all those who remember family members and friends who have died from Cancer.
What ever you can do is appreciated, do it today, don't wait, don't put it off, think creatively how you may be able to support, it could be money, time, skill, bake sale, car wash, art classes - we can do it together!  

Stay blessed and be a blessing.

Friday 6 January 2017

Pantone Color of the Year 2017 - Greenery - Around the studio

I have been inspired in my studio by the Pantone Color of the Year for 2017 which is Greenery.



What is the PANTONE Color of the Year?
"A symbolic color selection; a color snapshot of what we see taking place in our global culture that serves as an expression of a mood and an attitude."
Who is the Pantone Color Institute
"The Pantone Color Institute is a color research and information center that shares its color expertise with professionals in a variety of industries including fashion, commercial/industrial, contract and interior design, graphic arts, advertising, film and education.
Pantone studies how color influences human thought processes, emotions and physical reactions, furthering its commitment to providing professionals with a greater understanding of color and to help them utilize color more effectively. Leatrice Eiseman, America's leading color expert, is the executive director of the Pantone Color Institute."

I am really interested in the way that color can impact on our health and well being.  I ran Art and Creativity workshops for a 4 year period with the elderly living with dementia, and encouraged my mother now 93 years old who has lived with dementia for the past 18 years and whom I was caring for to take part in creative activities. I saw the value of using color in an art activity, and the impact it made whether you were a participant or a viewer.  Check out my Arts In Health site and the resources of other organisations working in the field.

Creativity really touches parts of the brain that we just cannot truly understand and I found after the Arts and Creative activity the participants in my group became more focused during the rest of the day and they engaged with other activities, were more relaxed and they would talk about the activity that they took part in with others.  

Mum at the Art Session I ran at the day care centre

The work was displayed around the center and they were very proud of their efforts.

Mum liked patterns and lots of color - especially red

I was able to talk about my work in the Barbados magazine Better Health and shared my passion for the Arts and Health and the connection to our well-being.


Since hearing about Greenery as the Color of the Year, I thought I would see how much in our everyday the colors are being used.  It is amazing how once a particular color is highlighted you begin to notice it more.  I went round my studio to see examples of 'Greenery' and there was more than I thought. 

Greenery - Pantone Color of the Year 2017
Can you identify any of the items?

After I began focusing on on the color I saw it everywhere, and obviously looking out the window it is all around.  


Greenery - Pantone Color of the Year 2017
Some of the items are more obvious than others....

A lot of my supplies and tools have elements or shades of the color...

Greenery - Pantone Color of the Year 2017
Some you may have seen....

I also use the color quite a bit in my paintings, and over the coming week will be sharing more about my creative process and where the color has featured in my work.

Greenery - Pantone Color of the Year 2017
Some you may even own!

I will also be sharing more over the next week or so a trip I made to St Nicholas Abbey which is set in very lush surroundings and I took lots of photographs where the color greenery is evident and how it is used in the setting, from around the home to out in nature. 

St Nicholas Abbey - set in 350 acres!

I will also be sharing a video on my YouTube Channel - Realityart of 3 pieces of art work where the color and shades have featured quite a bit.  I hope you can join me, and perhaps it will encourage your creative adventure.

Sign up for my mailing list (on the side bar) and check out some of my other links listed.  It would be great to have you on board.  

Stay blessed and be a blessing!

Friday 31 October 2014

Reflections and Understandings - Tips for Carers


When I decided to be part of the Ultimate Blog Challenge I didn't think about what I had on in terms of work and responsibilities, I just jumped in and had to fit things around writing the posts.  

From Gratitude's Journal - Your life deserves your attention

It wasn't easy and every day I had to encourage myself to share a bit more than I was used to, though I am glad I took the step as there were things I needed to encourage within myself and with each post brought me to a greater understanding of my role as a carer.  I have been encouraged to step up in my creativity, to let go of those things that I can't change, and to make room for the blessings that come when you treat yourself and others with kindness.
Time to recharge those batteries!

So many thoughts have come out of sharing, and so many ideas.  I hope at some point to provide suggestion of creative activities that you can do for relaxation for yourself and with the person you care for all very easy to organize and can fit into your daily schedule.  As a mixed media artist I love making things and have been sharing my art and creativity throughout the posts.  

In writing the posts as part of the challenge, I have gained new insights, grown, shed a few tears and dusted myself off and got up again.  The main thing that stands out for me is about choice we always have a choice in the way we respond, whether we accept things the way they are, or if we take steps for a change.

We can choose to be upset about the one we are caring for and what they can’t do and how much they have changed, or we can choose to celebrate that they have a life, they can breathe or that they woke up this morning and are living life the best possible way with a circle of people that love them and only want the best.
Gratitudes and Celebration Journal - Dream
I choose to be true to myself to love myself and give myself space, to know when I need a break and time out, and to know when I need to go at full throttle, to ask for help when I need it and be open about my role as a carer.  I choose to love my mum a best I can and not feel guilty about not being perfect, and I choose to love me and show love to others by trying to be a blessing in their lives.  
You Are....

For now, take a look back over your past week, or month, what lessons, moments for reflection and insights have you come away with.  If you can put it down in a journal, create a piece of art and be encouraged!

Bless you for stopping by, do leave a comment on how the posts have informed and encouraged you.



You can also click on the 'Celebrating life' image to be taken to the rest of the posts from the Journey of a Carer.

Thursday 30 October 2014

UBC - Day 31 - Celebrate your life

Art Work - Amanda Trought - Realityarts

Welcome to day 31 and the final day of 'Tips for Carers' in the Ultimate Blog Challenge


Each day I have brought you a different aspect of my experience as a carer, to inform you, to bless you and give you some pointers if you are going into the role, or have been in it for a while and just need some new ideas.  There is no ‘one size fits all’ but it is important for us to share our experiences with each other, and share those things about our lives that make us unique.

Each post hopefully allowed you to shine new light into your situation and see it differently.  I hoped you tried to some of the suggestions or altered them to suit your needs.  The one thing I remind myself of is that life is precious and we have been paced here for a purpose. 


As I look after my mum I try not to loose sight of who and I celebrate the life I have knowing that I can make an impact.  In life we have to make the most of what I can do, knowing each day brings along the gifts of life, celebrating those things that we are grateful for.  We each have something that is special within us and whilst we are all in different circumstances and situations we have to find the strength to be more than the role defines. 


I recommend that you make sure that you make the most of your time, eat well, get rid of those things that are toxic in your life, and try and give the best of yourself, enabling your light to shine on those around you, especially the one you are caring for.  Celebrate and love yourself and If you can find the joy, peace, hope and love in your current circumstances, each day will be a miracle.   

As a carer, I don’t allow myself to be defined by the name,  As I work my way through the role   sharing my experiences and building relationships, I seek help, I ask, and manage to get through each day with a story to tell it is not an easy road, but it can be fulfilling.   You are precious, you are loved, and you are appreciated for everything you do.



For now, take a moment to celebrate your life, take time to unearth some of those dreams that were hidden and do one thing that will be a blessing to your life and the one you are caring for.


You can also click on the 'Celebrating life' image to be taken to the rest of the posts from the Journey of a Carer.

Wednesday 29 October 2014

UBC - Day 30 - Give yourself permission to breath - Tips for Carers

Give yourself permission to breath.

It starts with you, from the time you wake up in the morning the hustle and bustle of the day yet to begin.  You make a hundred and one decisions, do the daily chores, look after children and then you have your caring role.  You do whatever needs to be done each and every day, day in and day out and you don’t stop. 

Take a breather....

Sometimes it is hard to see how you can fit anything else into an already busy schedule, but you do.  But along with space and time you cannot fit everything in all at once and once again need to place some strategies for dealing with the load because at some point if you keep going at the same rate you will burn out and then you won’t be any use to anyone.
You have to realistically look at what you have on your plate, setting the tone of your day where possible and look at ways in which some of the burden can be lifted off.  It starts with you taking what seems like a ‘time out’ and begin to breath, to stop and get off the merry go round of appointments, meetings, long nights and take a breath - that thing that we take for granted. 

Take that time out

Taking a breath for some might be that walk, it might be coffee with a friend, or going to an art shop or it might be sitting still 5 minutes letting the sun hit your face as you close your eyes and drift off to that ideal place where everything is alright. 

Listen

I regularly spend time meditating and praying, thinking about a space where my mind can be still, where I can think and just listen to my breath, to the sound of the birds or the sound of children’s laughter in the distance.  I am giving myself permission to take time out just to breath.


For now, every day spend 5 minutes with your eyes closed listening to your own breath, hearing the sound of your home, the noises outside to that place where all is well and just listen.


You can also click on the 'Celebrating life' image to be taken to the rest of the posts from the Journey of a Carer.

Tuesday 28 October 2014

UBC Day 29 - Long Term Plans, Tips for Carers

Thinking about the future – Long term plans

Every now and then, I think about what is going to happen to mum as the dementia worsens.  You can’t help think about it, and at some stage you have to address it.   I wonder how long she has with us, ashamed at the very thought and feeling guilty thinking about myself and how long I would be in this role.  I think about the other ailments that silent creep up and one day we find out that we have to make adjustments for them as well. 



Adaptations

I recently moved mum into a flat that has been adapted for someone who uses a wheelchair, we were struggling at her old home with the bathroom and getting in and out with her, and the new flat has a wet room with shower so it has eased the stress that we used to have in the morning.  Additionally with the wheelchair we were having carry it up and down the stairs every day, and with the new flat there is a lift.  I have been mindful to start to anticipate some of her needs that will arise.  Rather than wait for things to happen, I have tried to put things in place before they are needed, but also I have been trying to maintain mums health by giving her nutrient rich foods, she has been enjoying the smoothies that I have made from the nutri bullet.



That said, some hard questions will need to be answered even asked and there are things that we are going to have to face.  It helps if you can where possible put things in place that will benefit your loved one.  With mum, using a wheel chair doesn't mean that we don’t encourage her to walk, and we are trying to maintain her health as much as possible.  For some, as their loved ones get sicker they are faced with 

the question ‘do we put them into a home’  I have thought about it but knowing what I’ve seen from exposes of homes and what you have read in the paper, I don’t think that mum would survive longer than 6 months if that.  When mum went into a respite home while I was away on holiday she walked in when I took her in and had to have a wheel chair out, she could barely hold herself up and that was just after a 2 week stay.  I am sure not all homes have the same effect on its clients, but that is my experience.
 

Essentially you have to start to think about how their illness will progress and what will happen if you were no longer able to physically care for your loved one.  This is where the support network, family and friends come in.  What you do today will have an impact on the outcome of tomorrow.

For now take a moment to think about your current situation, and what additional things could be put in place to further support you in the long term before they happen.


You can also click on the 'Celebrating life' image to be taken to the rest of the posts from the Journey of a Carer.

UBC - Day 28 - Each Day is a Gift - Make it special, Tips for Carers

Make each day special, each day is a gift

Each and every day that we can get up and breathe in fresh air, see another sunrise and sunset is special, as well as connecting with loved ones and exploring the life we have been given this is special.  Whatever our current circumstances, we are able to enjoy at least one thing in our lives, and even if you are not grateful for what you currently have remember that there is always someone worse off than you.

When you give it some thought and think about what you do have you will see that there is someone who doesn't have all the resources that you have or the opportunities and probably a host of other things, and if you go wider, there are a large proportion of the world that don’t have access to clean running water, or food or a place to lay their head.  They don’t have and will never have most of the other things that you have and will on a daily basis take for granted and even get complacent over.  Yet those that do not have are making the most of what they do have, they are struggling and living from day to day, and we have a responsibility to help and impact the lives of so many around the world in the simplest of ways – but that is for another post. 


I often worry that mum is hating her life right now, thinking about all the things that she use to do that she now can’t do.  At times I find myself going into automatic mode when helping her to do something, of course I will help her cause she can’t do it for herself, of course I will because she is my mum, but then in the midst of me helping her do something you would expect to do yourself she says ‘Thank you’.


She says it with gratitude, she says it because she is grateful for the help, and I think even more so grateful for being alive and able to enjoy what may seem limited to others, but to her it’s a life worth living.  She may not feel that way all the time, who does, but generally she has found a way to still smile and laugh at life.  There are still things that make her chuckle, and what I try not to forget is how precious this moment is.  This day that we have been given is unique and I have the choice to celebrate it and try and be all that I can be today, for tomorrow is another day.  I can choose to be present in my life or I can choose to worry about all the things that are not happening or that I do not have. 

I choose to bring joy into my home and see the wonders that are around me, and the opportunity to be able to make a difference today.


For now think about those little things that bring joy into your home.  Look at the gifts that you have been blessed with among what look like ashes and celebrate those gifts.


You can also click on the 'Celebrating life' image to be taken to the rest of the posts from the Journey of a Carer.

Monday 27 October 2014

UBC - Day 27, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff (keeping your perspective) - Tips for Carers


Don’t sweat the small stuff, keep your perspective

Throughout the weeks we have been looking at different areas of the carer’s role and things you can do to make it work better for your health and well-being, I hope that you have found some of the ideas helpful and it would be great to hear what you are putting into practice in your own life.

Where has the time gone?


‘If it is not broke, then don’t fix it’ or ‘don’t try to reinvent the wheel’ are two sayings that I remind myself of daily because there are so many things out of our control and that can send you on a spiral of self-doubt, when you finally come back to yourself and out of the rabbit hole you find that you’ve missed out on a large chunk of your life.


In your caring role you will also come across situations and events that arise and impact negatively on your role, or you might meet people who are difficult and unhelpful, you have got to keep going. The bureaucracy that you will face as a carer can be hard, but for every 2 unhelpful people, there is someone who genuinely wants to be of assistance or give you the correct information. I found that many times over the years and at times I just had to come at it from a different point of view, wait a few days and then approach it again.

Dealing with the day to day

Even dealing with the day to day things could be an issue where your loved one refuses to do something quite simple like change their clothes for bed at night time. If you have been used to doing things in a set way then for them to decided not to change their clothes can be an issue. When it happened with my mum she just point blankly refused to change into her night clothes and no cajoling or persuading would make her change her might. I began to get upset as this was totally unheard of - sleeping in your day clothes! I couldn’t work out why she would do this to me. 


Then something clicked, it had meant more to me than it did to her, the clothes were just clothes to her, she felt comfortable in the clothes she had on and didn’t want to take them off for her it represented making her own decisions and being independent, and here was her daughter ordering her about in her own home. I realised that even though I was trying and keep to a system, changing the clothes and doing things that she normally would do helped me to feel that we were in control of dementia, and represented order to me, dementia is not a disease of order. 


Taking a step back

I had to step back and stop stressing both her and myself out at night and just let her sleep in the clothes if she wished knowing that she would be changing her clothes come morning. This gave a sense of peace and it was no longer an issue, but it also meant that possible changes in the way she perceived things were taking place and there would be other things that would come up that needed to be dealt with from a different perspective, I had to let it go of how I thought things should go, and make room for the things that really mattered.

For now what areas of your life and your role as a carer could be rearrange to remove the stress that can sometimes crop up and what can you let go of?



You can also click on the 'Celebrating life' image to be taken to the rest of the posts from the Journey of a Carer.
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