Thinking about the future – Long term plans
Every now and then, I think about what is going to happen to
mum as the dementia worsens. You can’t
help think about it, and at some stage you have to address it. I
wonder how long she has with us, ashamed at the very thought and feeling guilty
thinking about myself and how long I would be in this role. I think about the other ailments that silent
creep up and one day we find out that we have to make adjustments for them as
well.
Adaptations
I recently moved mum into a flat that has been adapted for
someone who uses a wheelchair, we were struggling at her old home with the
bathroom and getting in and out with her, and the new flat has a wet room with
shower so it has eased the stress that we used to have in the morning. Additionally with the wheelchair we were
having carry it up and down the stairs every day, and with the new flat there
is a lift. I have been mindful to start
to anticipate some of her needs that will arise. Rather than wait for things to happen, I have
tried to put things in place before they are needed, but also I have been
trying to maintain mums health by giving her nutrient rich foods, she has been
enjoying the smoothies that I have made from the nutri bullet.
That said, some hard questions will need to be answered even
asked and there are things that we are going to have to face. It helps if you can where possible put things
in place that will benefit your loved one.
With mum, using a wheel chair doesn't mean that we don’t encourage her
to walk, and we are trying to maintain her health as much as possible. For some, as their loved ones get sicker they
are faced with
the question ‘do we put them into a home’ I have thought about it but knowing what I’ve
seen from exposes of homes and what you have read in the paper, I don’t think
that mum would survive longer than 6 months if that. When mum went into a respite home while I was
away on holiday she walked in when I took her in and had to have a wheel chair
out, she could barely hold herself up and that was just after a 2 week
stay. I am sure not all homes have the
same effect on its clients, but that is my experience.
Essentially you have to start to think about how their illness
will progress and what will happen if you were no longer able to physically
care for your loved one. This is where
the support network, family and friends come in. What you do today will have an impact on the
outcome of tomorrow.
For now take a moment to think about your current situation,
and what additional things could be put in place to further support you in the
long term before they happen.
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