UBC - Day 6 - Tips for Carers - Family and Friends

Caring for a loved one can be such an isolating experience with dementia unlike say a broken leg, the leg gets better people can see that the leg is broken and so there are certain expectations about things that you are unable to do.  With dementia there isn't necessarily any outward sign, as it gets worse and ravages the memory and leaves its after effects on its unwilling participants

As the carer I have found that your relationships with family and friends can suffer, as you try and navigate your way around the changes to your routines and additional things that you need to do in order to manage the caring role, you can end up drifting from your social life, too tired to call friends when you've been up all night trying to get your loved one back in bed cause they think it is day time.  

This is the same for those with dementia, people don't know what to say, they feel awkward with the silences and stop calling or passing by.  Where possible if you can have a few people that you can call on and will call you every now and again even if it is just to say hi, it is important that you keep the connections going, and for your loved one hearing a familiar voice of someone they know can help both of you.  

You could ask friends and family to make a voice recording of things they have been doing that week and play it back.  It is a way that they can feel included in things that are going on around them. There is lots of technology that you can use to facilitate this and it is also good for those people whose family live abroad.

For now, get together with family members and a few friends and ask them to be part of a schedule where they call once a week to see how things are going, or even come round and give you a much needed break!

UBC - Day 5 Independence - Tips for Carers

Welcome to day 5 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge - Independence - Tips for Carers

In 2001 we had a family holiday to Florida with my mum, sister and my husbands side of the family, and mum was in the early stages of dementia, living on her own and pretty much independent.  When we decided to go to one of the theme parks with mum I suggested that we get a wheel chair as there was quite a bit of walking, mum point blankly refused to even consider using it.  While I saw it as a means of convenience and getting around quickly, mum saw it as taking away her independence, and she remarked to a family friend that she needed to hold on to her independence for as long as possible as when there is no one around she is going going to have to take care of her self.  On hearing this I saw how much I needed to at times step back and let her take her own time to do things. 

The world was not going to end if she took an extra 15 minutes to do something and I had to work around her time whenever possible.  I found that while and in the midst of her loosing her independence it actually gave her a sense of being independent, and so impacted on her health and well-being and how she felt.  You have to help the ones that you are caring for feel as if they are holding on to a part of themselves especially, in an environment where nothing is the same and constantly changes as the memory decreases.

For today, give yourself that extra bit of time to get through the days activities, in doing so you create less stress and impact greatly on your overall heath and well-being.

Word for the Week - Romans 8:28

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose...Romans 8:28

You have been called for a specific purpose, and have been called to be a blessing in the life of others, the way that will manifest is for you to seek, diving into his word and unraveling the mysteries of your purpose in him...

As you meditate on the scripture and enjoy the image ask and think about the many gifts you have been given, the many challenges you face, and the fruit that will come from the work of your hands. 

Words and images for the week, to bless, encourage and inspire you to be all that you have been called to be. 

What will you do with what you have been given today?

Stay blessed and be a blessing

UBC - Day 4 - Remember their story - Tips for Carers

Remember their story........

  

  

Welcome to Day 4 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. 

In the early days of mums dementia we would find that she would repeat herself a lot of the time.  We didn’t know or expect to be where we are now and the decline over the years rapidly increased.  Mum would talk a lot about my father who had pass many years previously and she would recount the story of them meeting and how she had her eye on him.  She told us that when he saw her he called to her – she played hard to get for a while and then the rest resulted in 3 children and many years of happy marriage.  I didn’t understand how important those stories would be to me as time when on and these are the same stories that I repeat back to her hoping to spark a memory or bring a smile to her face.

The decline in memory even with medication is inevitable but one of the things that I have found helped greatly was putting together a book filled with photographs and a little bit of information.  It is just an A5 book and I printing out some of the pictures, if you want to create something bigger you can.. 

I also created this folder with information that anyone who is with mum can go through with her and get her to talk about some of the images and interact This means that even if you don’t know her you can engage her and help her to recapture her story, sometimes she just listens and sometimes you get a smile from her as she has taken the information in. 

This is also a good exercise to do with the younger generation; if you have photographs of when you were younger get them out and start talking about those times.  There is so much about our stories that are lost and don’t get handed down and end up in a box as old photographs.  I encourage you to spend some time capturing the stories and keeping the memories alive, you can never underestimate the power of those times spent sharing.

For today, take one photo at a time, and remember and record the memories.  Do leave a comment and tell me what you do with the photographs that you have in your collection....Blessings!