M is for Motherhood

Limosine ride in Florida

As a mother there is a perception that you would automatically be able to care, you nurture and grow your young and care for the elderly - sometimes you want to switch the button off and care about yourself.  As I adapt to the growing maturity of my 16 soon to be 17 year old son who at times thinks that he knows everything and wants to do it all himself and be independent with his talk of learning to drive, university, living abroad etc.... I know I have to let go in order for him to grow.

I don't always see myself as a carer, the term can be so impersonal aren't we all supposed to care? I understand the term carer attempts to represent the variety of roles that are undertaken, but it still falls short, all the books in the world still can't prepare you for the emotional rollercoster ride you experience.  What has been helpful has been sharing with those who have been in a caring role who can speak frankly about their experience.

It can sometimes feels like I have been given responsibility for a fully grown 'child' like in the Curious Case of Benjamin Button.  I battle with knowing the 88 year old woman who use to be independent wants to do everything for herself but can't.  I watch her drift off in thought and wonder if she contemplates about those unfulfilled dreams she had when she was younger.

Mum talking on the radio about Mothers day

My overriding joy I have as a mother looking after my mother is that I may not be able to give her the dreams of things she wanted to do when she was younger, perhaps I can help her achieve those things that she never dreamt she would be doing.

Words so far....

A is for Alzheimer’s, B is for Behaviour, C is for Carer, D is for Dependant, E is for Enough, F is for Fear, G is for Guilt, H is for Health Professionals, I is forIdentity, J is for Judgement K is for Knowledge, L is for Love, 

These posts are part of the A-Z Challenge taking place during the month of April.  I have been sharing about my experience as a carer to a mother with Dementia.  If you would like to know more join the Arts in Health Network and also check out my website for information on some of the work I have done with Creativity and Dementia.

L is for Love

A trip to Portugal 2008, mum decides to show everyone how it's done!

I have grown to accept the changes that happened and will continue to happen in regards to my mothers health.  Before I understood how dementia affected the brain I thought mum was doing things on purpose –  moving and mislaying things, or saying insensitive things to hurt.  I realised that her love for me had not changed and neither should mine for her.  You can’t see the dementia but only experience the effects of the illness and so it's harder to come to terms with the person that you love changing.  You have to learn to put all that aside.

I feel the child in me wanting to be loved in the way mum used to express it, with hugs and caring words, or a soothing song at bedtime.  We have to now embrace the children we are inside remember to nurture the hurt we feel at the loss of those we love.

Words so far....

A is for Alzheimer’s, B is for Behaviour, C is for Carer, D is for Dependant, E is for Enough, F is for Fear, G is for Guilt, H is for Health Professionals, I is forIdentity, J is for Judgement K is for Knowledge

These posts are part of the A-Z Challenge taking place during the month of April.  I have been sharing about my experience as a carer to a mother with Dementia.  If you would like to know more join the Arts in Health Network and also check out my website for information on some of the work I have done with Creativity and Dementia.

K is for Knowledge

What do they really know about dementia?...., The carers are becoming the professionals dealing not only with the emotional aspects but the physical, and psychological day in and out of the role, their knowledge and understanding increases, but they don't have the space to share...

I have come across many service providers whose work impacts on the elderly and carers that haven’t had any training in dementia care.  In my own role I have had to learn to interpret my mothers every action from why she is doing something that seems irrational to what she could possibly be trying to communicate, on top of ensuring she has a good quality of life. This has taken time, a lot of reflection and asking myself how would I feel if it were me in her position..!.

More and more organisations are consulting with carers getting them to share their experience with health care professionals.  I am currently involved in delivering workshops to students who are training to be social workers and helping them to not only understand but relate to the role of the carer - I have been able to develop a series of talks using creative activities. I think that it is vital for the carer as well as those who have to interact with them to have a basis for understanding just how complex the role can be, and ensure that there are opportunities for sharing experiences and increased dialogue that can only bring about positive change.

Words so far....

A is for Alzheimer’s, B is for Behaviour, C is for Carer, D is for Dependant, E is for Enough, F is for Fear, G is for Guilt, H is for Health Professionals, I is forIdentity, J is for Judgement

These posts are part of the A-Z Challenge taking place during the month of April.  I have been sharing about my experience as a carer to a mother with Dementia.  If you would like to know more join the Arts in Health Network and also check out my website for information on some of the work I have done with Creativity and Dementia.

365 Days of Colour - Flower of the Day 300 - 306

Development

Continuous development ensures growth.  The way in which you choose can be varied and can take on many forms.  Making sure you have a plan for the development will enable you to keep an eye on whats going on and what you need to do next....

Day 300

Reflection 

Keep going, your getting close, doors are opening.. 

Quote 

Enthusiasm is not an emotional state. It is a spiritual commitment, a loving surrender to our creative process. Enthusiasm (from the Greek, “filled with God”) is an ongoing energy supply tapped into the flow of life itself.  – Unknown 

Scripture 

Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be shaken but endures forever. Psalm 125:1

Day 301

Reflection 

You are blessed more than you know... 

Quote 

Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time....Thomas Merton 

Scripture 

Blessed are the pure in heart; for they shall see God. Matthew 5:8

Day 302

Reflection 

You are a blessing to many 

Quote 

It’s kind of fun to do the impossible....Walt Disney 

Scripture 

The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth. Psalm 145:18

Day 303

Reflection  

Rejection is a part of life, don’t dwell in it, move on, don’t give up.. 

Quote 

Art should be something like a good armchair in which to rest from physical fatigue...Henri Matisse 

Scripture 

Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Romans 5:1

Day 304

Reflection 

You inspire others by being you... 

Quote 

To love what you do and feel that it matters- how could anything be more fun? Katherine Graham 

Scripture 

I am still confident of this; I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Psalm 27:13

Day 305

Reflection 

The answers are there, you need to ask the right questions.... 

Quote 

These then are my last words to you: be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact. ...William James 

Scripture 

No one who is born of God practices sin, because His seed abides in him; and he cannot sin, because he is born of God  1 John 3:9

Day 306

Reflection 

Take time to renew and recharge your batteries 

Quote 

Art is like singing. Some do it better than others, but everyone can and should be doing it for their soul. ...Barbara Mason 

Scripture 

He is the Rock, His works are perfect, and all His ways are just.  A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is He. Deuteronomy 32:4