Monday, 12 October 2009

Asking for Help

As I sit in front of my computer, trying to be creative and an inspiration, reminding myself that I am not at my final destination but on life's journey my thoughts turn toward my 13 going on 30 year old son and being a mother.

This weekend as been quite a rocky one, I have been under stress caring for my mother who has dementia, whilst also dealing with the challenging and confrontational behavior of a young man who is still finding his way in 'communicating' the way I want him to (is he developing the differences that we notice in our men already!) but is also unable to express how he feels about not having his mum around as much as he used to.

I can see us both as if we are standing on opposite shores with the space between getting wider and wider, and I know that I have to be proactive in what I do rather than stand by as if helpless, watching our relationship deteriorate. I realize that I am not an island and I am surrounded by uplifting, caring, inspirational, people who are there to give support.
I have to get over 'myself' and ask for 'help' rather than carry it all on my already painful shoulders - when did it become a sign of weakness asking for help?. I can't feel guilty about not always being upbeat all the time because I am dealing with sensitive and difficult situations, I must find time out for myself - and to be creative, rediscovering the beauty in simplicity and also remember my superhero outfit is in the dry cleaners and won't be ready for a few more days......
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