U is for Understanding

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight...Proverbs 3:5-6

I have tried to understand why and how mum has dementia, why our family, why now, why after looking after my dad did she then go on to develop it and what other factors played a hand - was it the isolation, being consumed by dads illness?, loosing a support network?, could it have been her high blood pressure, depression, food or environmental?  What was the trigger...

With so much people being affected it makes you wonder why a cure cannot yet be found, we hear so much information - suggestions and solutions in the news papers every other day.   In undersanding the frailty of the life we sometimes take for granted things that we can do now.  I know that in my own understanding I do not hold the answers but we can often miss the now as we focus on what we can no longer do.....

Words so far....

A is for Alzheimer’s, B is for Behaviour, C is for Carer, D is for Dependant, E is for Enough, F is for Fear, G is for Guilt, H is for Health Professionals, I is forIdentity, J is for Judgement K is for Knowledge, L is for Love,  M is for Motherhood, N is for Neighbourhood, O is for Opportunities P is for Purpose, Q is for Quietness, R is for Regret, S is for Strategies, T is for Tradition

These posts are part of the A-Z Challenge taking place during the month of April.  I have been sharing about my experience as a carer to a mother with Dementia.  If you would like to know more join the Arts in Health Network and also check out my website for information on some of the work I have done with Creativity and Dementia.

365 Days of Colour - Flower of the Day 314 - 320

Peace

In the peace and stillness we are able to think, to gather our thought for the day, solve a problem come up with the answer to the mystery, we can heal.  In the peace we really get to listen to our surroundings and find the beauty around us. 

Day 314

 

Reflection 

Pay more attention to want matters most.. 

Quote 

Art is the journey of a free soul. ...Alev Oguz 

Scripture 

Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. 2 Corinthians 3:5

Day 315

Reflection 

You will soar like the eagle

Quote 

Art is the demonstration that the ordinary is extraordinary. ...Amedee Ozenfant 

Scripture 

And Jesus said unto them, ‘I am the bread of life; he that cometh to Me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on Me shall never thirst.’ John 6:35

Day 316

Reflection 

You always have a choice, don’t settle for what makes you feel small! 

Quote

I have accepted fear as a part of life- specifically the fear of change… I have gone ahead despite the pounding in my heart that says: turn back....

Erica Jong 

Scripture 

He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases power. Isaiah 40:29

Day 317

Reflection 

Time to be still..... 

Quote 

Art is not the bread, but the wine of life. ...Jean Paul Richter 

Scripture 

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.  Later on, however; it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.  Hebrews 12:11

Day 318

Reflection 

Enjoy the life you currently lead don’t just endure it 

Quote 

When you have confidence, you can have a lot of fun. And when you have fun, you can do amazing things. ...Joe Namath 

Scripture 

...Jesus said, ‘If you hold to my teaching, you are really My disciples.  Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’ John 8 31-32

Day 319

Reflection 

Stand up for what you believe in and you won’t regret it 

Quote 

It’s easy to get bogged down in the circumstantial and mundane, but if we connect to our passion, that in itself will be regenerative; we won’t have to wait for the energy, it will be there. ...Nina Simonos 

Scripture 

The world is passing away, but also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God abides forever. 1 John 2:17

Day 320

Reflection 

Be honest with yourself 

Quote 

I could never convince the financiers that  Disneyland was feasible because dreams offer too little collateral. ...Walt Disney 

Scripture 

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

T is for Tradition

We grew up without seeing our grandparents often, they lived in Jamaica.  We use to watch our parents write and send money back to help them get much needed things, and make the trips to the post office for them.  We looked forward to returned letters of thanks and what was happening back in Jamaica.  I didn’t meet my grandmothers until I was 18 years and took our first family holiday. My paternal grandmother had a playful character, she loved to laugh, I wanted to spend hours listening to her talk.  My maternal grandmother was quieter but had a peaceful spirit and you immediately felt comfortable in her presence.

Being in the UK we were not there when they got sick and our parents would send money back for siblings who lived in Jamaica to help get the care they needed.  I never saw or imagined what it could be like to care for your parent as they got older, in my mind our parents would stay exactly as they were forever and never grow old.  But we did, we grew old and our parents grew frail and we wondered where the time went.

My son has grown up with his grandmothers and has seen the impact on the family as they got ill, with his paternal grandmother passing when he was 7years old.  For my mum the once family traditions of meeting for dinner with the grandchildren playing each weekend has been replaced with schedules of care and who is on that weekend.  We try and continue the many traditions knowing that as they get older the kids will be developing traditions of their own..  What kind of traditions do you still keep from your childhood days?

Words so far....

A is for Alzheimer’s, B is for Behaviour, C is for Carer, D is for Dependant, E is for Enough, F is for Fear, G is for Guilt, H is for Health Professionals, I is forIdentity, J is for Judgement K is for Knowledge, L is for Love,  M is for Motherhood, N is for Neighbourhood, O is for Opportunities P is for Purpose, Q is for Quietness, R is for Regret, S is for Strategies

These posts are part of the A-Z Challenge taking place during the month of April.  I have been sharing about my experience as a carer to a mother with Dementia.  If you would like to know more join the Arts in Health Network and also check out my website for information on some of the work I have done with Creativity and Dementia.

S is for Strategies

Studies have shown that the less sleep you get the more it impacts on your mental health and well being.  

Sometimes mum gets confused between night and day, you could be up till all hours convincing her that it is time for bed, I have had to develop strategies to cope with her understanding of time and can sometimes operate in the twilight zone myself!

I had to learn over the years among other things to alter the tone of my voice and find different ways of communicating that sometimes works and other times won't. In my moments of frustration too tired to find a different strategy to convince her back to bed she tells me not to use a particular tone or remind me that I too sometimes forget.  

A different strategy is called for when dealing with some health service workers.  In their efforts to deal with what 'current policy' says some can get defensive when you question the practicalities. Recently in asking for a few weeks respite break they ask me why I need it, (even though I have to pay for it, they determine if it is justified!)....on top of that some of mums information is missing.  

I take a deep breath and smile as I respond to their questioning mentioning my surprise that the information is missing after 3 years on the system and how frustrating for the carer this can be.  I am told nothing has been decided and to call back the following week.  The next person I speak to tells me that the notes on mums file say I was "agitated", he is less defensive, and cheerful and so I explain to him that I was concerned and worried that important information could go missing especially when it was time sensitive.  He says he understands, but my request has not yet become a priority, I should ring back the following week.

Yes...strategies....... in the meantime I've found hot chocolate and Camomile works a treat....I will see if I can get 40 winks! 

Words so far....

A is for Alzheimer’s, B is for Behaviour, C is for Carer, D is for Dependant, E is for Enough, F is for Fear, G is for Guilt, H is for Health Professionals, I is for Identity, J is for Judgement K is for Knowledge, L is for Love,  M is for Motherhood, N is for Neighbourhood, O is for Opportunities P is for Purpose, Q is for Quietness, R is for Regret

These posts are part of the A-Z Challenge taking place during the month of April.  I have been sharing about my experience as a carer to a mother with Dementia.  If you would like to know more join the Arts in Health Network and also check out my website for information on some of the work I have done with Creativity and Dementia.

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