Are you neglecting yourself? Where is the Love? 10 tips to get back on track

Are you neglecting yourself?

How many times have you neglected yourself in the past month, have you stopped treating yourself with kindness?

I have been there, it creeps up on you, and you have to make some decisions about how to get yourself out of the heaviness. 

When I have lots of different things going on it can be easy to forget about self-care and nurturing, and when caring for my mother who is living with dementia I found that turning to creativity, my art journal and a few other tips help me put things into perspective.  This last few months for me have been a challenge, some good and some bad.

Mixed media art Journal

The journal page says 

"The gentle breeze, the birdsong, the still small voice reminded her to step out of the self imposed barriers......she was enough"  

You are enough, have value, are absolutely brilliant and more!  We often put up those comparison charts, the "Not good enough Chart", "Self sabotage Chart " and "the 'Throw away' negative comments made by other people that hurt" chart and we put the breaks on our moving forward.  Which one have you used on yourself?

We forget ourselves don't we? and before you know it you have this ache....When I am out of balance and without routine or any scheduled 'Me Time',then things that I would normally brush off get on top of me. I find that comments that people say play like a theme tune in my mind, I try to put out fires and it is almost like a bottle that gets full to the brim and then overflows (well that's how it sometimes feels).

The Neglect Effect

Neglect effect can showcase itself in different ways:

- lack of exercise, 

- not allowing yourself to have a break, 

- taking too much of a break, 

- not eating right, 

- not spending quality time with loved ones, 

- sabotaging your work, 

- comparing yourself to others, 

- feeling stuck

-  self doubt, 

TV series binge, 

-followed by the cake and ice cream you wouldn't normally eat, 

- self loathing that follows and then beating yourself up for the work you didn't get done while you were watching back-to-back series of something you really weren't at all interested in before.

I am sure that you can think of other ways - the list goes on.  The knock-on effect is that it impacts on our commitments and relationships.

Admit you have a problem

The First step is admitting that you have a problem and that the pain of staying how you are is worse than the pain that comes from change!

My name is Amanda, a Mixed media Artist, and I have been neglecting myself.  For one reason or the next I allowed things to slide, became overwhelmed at the amount of work that I needed to get done around my art, commitments, my blog and to top it all I am in the process of moving again!

New Temporary Studio space

The move itself had stresses of its own, but then I started to stress about where I would put every thing, this is the new temporary studio space which is half the size of my current studio.

Current Studio space

This is my current studio space. minus the strapping young man (I will do a post-move studio tour on my YouTube channel in the next couple of weeks), just where would I put every thing, stay on top of things I needed to get done and I found myself becoming inactive while continuing to internally stress-out, secretly hoping somehow someone else would sought everything out.  

At the end of the day you have to realize your worth and value and what really matters and make the move, make a decision and take action, shine your light and be good to yourself.  

Here are also some quick and easy solutions for you to try and to get back on track, there are obviously loads more, but these helped for me and I hope you find them useful if you need them.

Here are 10 Tips to tackle the self-neglect and give yourself more love

1. Admit you have a problem - realizing that this neglect will be a problem if you allow it to continue you have to put in the right ingredients to ensure that you can turn things around. 
2. You have a choice - If you do nothing you are still making a choice, you can choose to start making the most of the situation, what are the ways you can see the good things that you have going. 
3. Take small regular actions - What small actions can you make that will eventually create the big change.  
4. Acknowledge your achievements - keeping an achievements book is a way of looking back at how far you have come, and celebrating those achievements, and the impact that you may have made on another persons life.
5. Eat right - Make sure that you are getting the right nutrition from your foods, and take supplements were necessary.  I firmly believe that food has an impact on our health and well-being, and it might be some small changes that you have to make.  Check out my Smoothie Recipes
6. Clear up your mess - Tidy up, and declutter, start with a clean room - sometimes being around mess will hamper your productivity.
7. Get Fit - When was the last time you got some exercise? Go for a walk - get out in nature, this helps refresh your ideas, and keeps you fit.
8. Creative Challenge - I usually kick off with a creative challenge, that helps me focus on what I really want to have in my life, and creativity impacts on our health and well-being as well.
9. Share/Give -  Think of the needs of someone else, what could you do to help their situation? why not see how you can give of your time or other resource to be a blessing to others.
10. Love yourself - show some self love, think about the things that you enjoy, going for a walk, beach, swim, visit a gallery, work in a journal, learn a new skill, read a book, achieve a life long goal

Bonus 

Feed your mind - listen to encouraging and positive messages feed your mind and get a shift in perspective.

Gratitude's - what are you grateful for in your life that you have been taking for granted?

OK, now what are you waiting for, you don't have to wait until your feeling off to put some things in place, but start something today!

Stay blessed and be a blessing

Wanted in Paradise!

It has been nearly 2 weeks since we have been back from Barbados, and it feels like longer, and a million miles away.  I thought I would share some of the pictures to warm up your cold December evening, and share some of the good news that accompanied the trip.

It wasn't a trip that we had planned, having been on holiday 2 months before, we were settling into our day to day routine, then came the call...

The BBC were putting together a series about people who had been considering returning to sunnier climbs and we were chosen to visit Barbados again to see if would be something that we considered doing.  The program 'Wanted in Paradise' is loosly based on the 'Wanted Down Under' series.

We were blown away by the opportunity to really see what it would be like living in Barbados, which allowed us to escape London for a week to see what things that we would need to think about and put into place.  This was an emotional journey as it meant having to think about those things that you take for granted, like being around family and friends, making your home in an unfamiliar environment and the ups and downs that goes with it.

We stayed in a really lovely beachfront apartment called Inchscape, and the week was spent meeting a range of different people and getting a side to the island that you don't usually think about when on holiday. 

Sekani got to visit the University of Barbados, and spoke with the Dean, and Alan met two head teachers and took his e-safety and cyber bullying program and ran a session in two primary schools.  It was an eye opener to find out how much they knew about e-safety and the work that is being done in schools at the moment. 

I got to meet the  Pamelia Brereton, the President of the Barbados Alzheimer's Association  and found out about the work that they are doing, and how I could possibly use some of the experience that I have gained from working with the Arts and Healthcare.  It was great to talk to Pamelia, who was able to relate to my situation with my mother as a carer, and gave some great advice.

President - Pamelia Brereton

I also got to spend the afternoon with English Born artist and author Janice Sylvia Brock, who spends half the year here in the UK and the rest in Barbados.  

She had a beautiful studio and home and it was great getting to talk to her about her work and what inspires her, living abroad, as well as sharing with her some of my own art work.  

Entrance to Studio

Janice's studio which also serves as a gallery space is so light an airy with some great sea views, I would love to have a creative space like this!....one day!

To see more click on this image

As we shared our love for the arts, it was great to hear about some of the ways in which she supports some of the different charities on the island.

We viewed 3 properties to see what kind of budget we would need to purchase a home, and made a comparison between the cost of living in the UK and Barbados to be able to judge objectively whether it was cheaper home or abroad.

Other highlights on the trip included spending time with Alan's cousin Mike and his wife Denise, they are a great couple who run Value Vacations travel agents in Barbados, and they are doing their bit giving back to the community with a variety of different ventures.

Alan with his cousin Mike and Denise

Sekani turned 19 years old in Barbados and we spent time with family and friends, it was his first birthday away from home, and we missed family and friends in the UK.

I have a lot of thinking to do, in order to make a decision, with no direct family in Barbados, and looking after my mum a priority, I have many tough decisions to make that will effect many people and can't be made lightly. 

Sea views

 Barbados has so much going for it, and a great environment, to inspire creativity and we have met a lot of lovely people!

Sunsets are beautiful!

The program will air in February 2015, to find out what we eventually decide you have to watch the program!, I will give you a heads up when it is on.

For now, stay blessed and be a blessing!

Gratitudes - The Summer

The sun as it beats down, relaxing in the garden, the sound of the birds, the summer holidays, children laughing, picnic in the park and a game of rounders, warm summer evenings, watching the sun set and blowing out the garden candle looking forward for tomorrow.  I am grateful!

Gratitudes - Sunshine

Sunshine  

Feeling the rays of sun on my skin, closing my eyes and imagining I am somewhere tropical...

What are you grateful for today?