C is for Carer

There is nothing that really prepares you to be a carer.  I obviously learnt to take care of my son, but another adult is a whole different ball game.  I never saw my grandparents being cared for and by the time my father got ill I had moved home so was never directly involved in his care.  When he got really ill  dad became bed ridden I do wonder what I thought about my mothers experience and why I wasn’t around to help out more, she didn’t have any of the support that I now have she did it on her own for over 5 years. 

Now as mums main carer, my time is spent sorting out every aspect of her life, making sure that she maintains a level of independence and making sure she has balanced meals, medication, appointments, bills and everything in between.  It can be all consuming at times as mum needs 24 hour care and my life fits around her needs.  Sometimes you think you've got it all together and the next all it takes is one small thing that you would probably shake off and it totally devastates you, and you wonder when it will all end.

One thing that has been important is maintaining my own identity in all of this, which can be hard when you’ve not had any sleep, mum has been wandering from room to room, tired but thinking its morning and everyone should be up.  Being a carer really makes you think of your own life and how fragile it can be, not wanting to be dependent on others and maintaining your own health.  I have found that my involvement in art has been the one key activity that allow a means for expression, and gives me the space I need to unwind and in turn get up and face another day.  

Art is very therapeutic and I encourage mum to express her creativity whenever possible, and this in turn helps her mood and overall well-being.

 

Here is mum at an art session at her local day centre

Before you go - Check out the Art Resource Hub for FREE online creative courses that will impact on your health and wellbeing and help you stay creative.

365 Days of Colour - Flower for the Day 293 - 299

Day 293

 

Reflection 

What is the one thing you always wanted 

Quote 

Art is the flower of life and, as seed, it gives back life. ...Remy de Gourmont 

Scripture 

So that we confidently say, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.  What shall man do to me?’  Hebrews 13:6

Day 294

Reflection 

Do not hold on to anger or bitterness, they will destroy you. 

Quote 

Grace, not will power, is what ultimately empowers us to live loving lives. Creativity, both in what spawns within the artist and the artifact, can be a vital source of that grace. ...Rev. Ron Rolheiser

Scripture 

Righteous are you O Lord, and your laws are right.  Your promises have been thoroughly tested, and your servant loves them.  Psalm 119:137, 140 

Day 295

Reflection 

It’s up to you!  

Quote 

Art must touch our lives, our fears and cares  evoke our dreams and give hope to the darkness...Frederick Hart 

Scripture 

God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power an love an discipline.  2 Timothy 1:7 

Day 296

Reflection 

You have the ability to step out, and soar....  

Quote 

Those rare souls whose spirit gets magically into the hearts of men leave behind them something real and warmly personal… the grace of a fine spirit pervades the places through which it has passed, like the haunting loveliness of mignonette....James Thurber  

Scripture 

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort; who comforts us in all our afflictions...

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Day 297

Reflection 

You light up the room, don’t hide.... 

Quote 

Art is about mystery....Marisol 

Scripture 

All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.  Psalm 139:16 

Day 298

Reflection 

All things are possible.....do you believe? 

Quote 

Sometimes when you finish a painting, you look at it and it looks all right and that’s a touch of grace. ...Jack Tworkov

Scripture 

The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. James 5:16

Day 299

Reflection 

There is a time for everything.... 

Quote 

I don’t see why we ever think of what others think of what we do- no matter who they are. Isn’t it enough just to express yourself? ...Georgia O’Keefe 

Scripture 

For the Lord your God is He that goeth with you, to fight for you against your enemies, to save you.  Deuteronomy 20:4

B is for Behaviour

We didn’t notice any changes in mums behaviour to begin with, it came slowly over a period of time.

Dad had passed away in 1992 and after a while everyone just got on with their lives and we assumed that mum got on with her routines without us knowing what they really were.  We assumed that she had a social life and activities that she participating in.  I remember ringing her up several times and asking her if she wanted to come to my house, she said she was busy and had work to do around the house.  In hindsight I think that she may have been depressed and felt more comfortable in familiar surroundings.  When we had our usual Sunday get together she would always make a remark about being on her own when everyone left, and you wanted to stay but the kids had to go to school the next day, so you parked those uneasy feelings that would creep up on you...

It was hard to understand why mum couldn’t remember certain things or that she had mislaid things and in the beginning it felt like she was putting it on for attention.   As the time passed we realised that something was wrong.  We have had to adjust to increase in decline that mum deals with on a daily basis and make room enabling her to have as good a quality of life as possible.  My mother’s behaviour is being changed by the disease we are being changed as we learn how to best communicate, and also find new levels of the relationship.

How do we relate to those who have differences, do we accept, ignore or try to accommodate these differences?  Sometimes we need to also look at our own behaviour and see if it allows others to really express who they were called to be.  

A is for Alzheimers

Today begins the month long A-Z blog challenge,  I will be writing about something that has been very close to my heart and in some cases still raw as it is an experience I face every day.

My topic for the challenge is Alzheimers and my experience being a carer for my mother Mavis who is 88 years and you will get to know more about her over the month.  She was diagnosed with having Alzheimers over 12 years ago and it is now in the severe stages.  When I first started my blog I shared in my post 'Journey of a Carer'

Alzheimers is the most commonly diagnosed form of dementia and the illness gets worse over time. Dementia describes a collection of symptoms including memory loss, loss of reasoning and communication skills and is an umbrella term to describe many other symptoms that occur when there is damage to particular parts of the brain.

There are so many emotions that you go through as a carer, and I believe the more we share our experiences the better placed those that want to be supportive and the healthcare professionals will be able to relate.  There needs to be an understanding of the impact that it can have on the life of the family as a whole and what it means to a generation of people increasingly suffering with the condition.  We also have to be aware of the individual suffering with the disease and how isolating it can become.  Statistics show that 1 in 3 of us either know someone who is directly effected by dementia or who is a carer.

As an artist I see the benefits that a creative activity can have on our health and wellbeing.  I currently use creativity in my role as a carer and share my experiences with those in healthcare settings.  I also run an Arts in Health network for anyone interested in finding out information about initiatives that are available, or want to connect with other artists in the healthcare setting. If you currently engaged in creative activities that impact on health it would be great to feature you in the network, so do let me know.

Over the course of the month you will gain an insight to my world as a carer, the one thing that has given clarity, peace and understanding is my faith and my creativity.  I do hope you join me for the rest of the month and over 1,400 other people as we take part in the A-Z Challenge it would be great to get your comments and feedback and I hope that you are inspired, encouraged on your virtual tour as you meet some great people.

Also check out the Art Resource Hub for a series of FREE courses and resources