Dad had passed away in 1992 and after a while everyone just got on with their lives and we assumed that mum got on with her routines without us knowing what they really were. We assumed that she had a social life and activities that she participating in. I remember ringing her up several times and asking her if she wanted to come to my house, she said she was busy and had work to do around the house. In hindsight I think that she may have been depressed and felt more comfortable in familiar surroundings. When we had our usual Sunday get together she would always make a remark about being on her own when everyone left, and you wanted to stay but the kids had to go to school the next day, so you parked those uneasy feelings that would creep up on you...
It was hard to understand why mum couldn’t remember certain things or that she had mislaid things and in the beginning it felt like she was putting it on for attention. As the time passed we realised that something was wrong. We have had to adjust to increase in decline that mum deals with on a daily basis and make room enabling her to have as good a quality of life as possible. My mother’s behaviour is being changed by the disease we are being changed as we learn how to best communicate, and also find new levels of the relationship.
How do we relate to those who have differences, do we accept, ignore or try to accommodate these differences? Sometimes we need to also look at our own behaviour and see if it allows others to really express who they were called to be.
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