Saturday 28 April 2012

Y is for Yearn

I do sometimes long for things to go back to how they used to when mum didn’t have dementia, to have a bit of what I think is normality.  But if it did, perhaps I wouldn’t have seen so much of her, wouldn’t have got to know her like I have, to listen to her stories as she tells them over and over again of how she met my dad. 

Those stories some how brings his memory to life even though he has been gone for over 20 years but also brings me comfort.  There came a point where it didn’t matter how many times mum told the story as she became animated -  she remembered him calling out to her as she walked by and she turned coyly and asked ‘who me’ – she had actually noticed him before and wanted to catch his attention. We never heard the stories before the dementia and she never danced, but now she loves to sing and dance and calls herself ‘the dancing queen’ after the Abba song.

Yes I do sometimes yearn for a good night undisturbed sleep when I am there, but also I appreciate my life more and it is most certainly richer despite all the ups and downs.

Words so far....

A is for Alzheimer’s, B is for Behaviour, C is for Carer, D is for Dependant, E is for Enough, F is for Fear, G is for Guilt, H is for Health Professionals, I is forIdentity, J is for Judgement K is for Knowledge, L is for Love,  M is for Motherhood, N is for Neighbourhood, O is for Opportunities P is for Purpose, Q is for Quietness, R is for Regret, S is for Strategies, T is forTradition, U is for Understanding, V is for Value, W is for Websites, X is for Xerox

These posts are part of the A-Z Challenge taking place during the month of April.  I have been sharing about my experience as a carer to a mother with Dementia.  If you would like to know more join the Arts in Health Network and also check out my website for information on some of the work I have done with Creativity and Dementia.


  1. You inspire me and I hope I can emulate you.

  2. I so enjoyed the "dancing queen" that I had to view the video twice.
    Thank you ever so much for sharing. You have motivated me to start a journal about Bob's journey through his dementia.
    Love to you both.

  3. what lovely gentle soul! She is beautiful! My little guy really enjoyed her singing. I've heard that some mental conditions bring back old memories as the brain refuses to focus on the present. Have a great week Amanda! I got see the dancing queen one!

  4. What a moving post. How wonderful that you get this time with her and her wonderful memories. I love to listen to my dad's memories of his childhood, and like your mom he's never shared them until now.

    Thank you for sharing,
    AtoZ Challenger

  5. Congratulations on making it so far on the A-Z Challenge. I can't believe there's just one more post to go!

    What a wonderful post for 'Y'!

  6. Hi Amanda .. I can appreciate that sentiment and I have it easier.

    However you're taking the opportunities that are, and the positives out of this time frame .. I admire you .. it's not easy. It's the only way to cope .. we can learn so much as our journeys continue ..

    With thoughts - Hilary

  7. Jo, its great to be in a community where we can inspire each other, though we may be hundreds of miles away, feelings mutual!

    Carol, thats great the more memories you create the better, and its a great way for Bob to hold on to memories.

    Wooden Chest...creativity definitely helps to maintain parts of the brain that have not been damaged, she really does love the song 'dancing queen':)

    Michelle, its great to be able to spend the time, the older I get I want to hear more tales, so that I can pass them on to my son and future generations.

    Donna, Its great to have made it to the end, thank you!

    Hilary, each of our journies have its difficulties and I am sure there are things you cope with that I would find hard, we learn from our journey and pass on the wisdom.

  8. Your A-Z is so rich, and I'm including some of your insights in my new book, which is about ageing. I will include links to your blog. I hope you are happy about this. Your wisdom and compassion and honesty move me a lot.

  9. Juliet, thank you for your visit, it would be great to see your book, wish you well, links to my blog appreciated. Blessings!


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