UBC - Day 2 Tips for Carers - Organised

Ultimate Blog Challenge - Day 2

I don't think that anyone gets up and decides that they want to be a carer, and it was never anything that ever crossed my mind that one day I would be looking after my mother.  You grow with expectations that you will see your parents live to a ripe age in relatively good health, and in turn see your children and your children's children grow up, but when your parent gets ill you realise that it is not going to happen like that.  There was no manual, no preparation, no guidance only fear, loss and sadness.

Mum when we were kids

In the beginning I didn't want to ask for help thinking that I should know how to look after my mum, and thought that asking for help would be seen as a sign of weakness.  The very thought of admitting that there was even something wrong in my mind reflected on who I was as a person.

Mum spending time with me at my home when I was 25

I found that being organised in your feelings and emotions is a way to take some of the stress out of what is needed.  This revelation came quite by chance.  I began to separate the functional needs from the emotional ones and this made it easier to deal with what had to be done, and it allowed me time to deal with how I felt about the situation.

Organised

When I allowed myself to just think about what had to be done practically, like taking mum in her wheelchair to the doctors for a check up, all I allowed myself to do was walk through all the practicalities, and give myself enough time to get there.  I didn't think about how I felt about doing it, or how sad I felt about her having to use the wheelchair, all I focused on was that the wheelchair gave us flexibility and we were able to get where we needed quicker than if she had to walk, it also took some of the strain and stress off her as I then didn't become frustrated with thinking about whether we would be on time or not.

Emotional

Mum and Robert at a family sports day

I know that at some point I am going to get emotional about the fact that mum cannot do what she used to.  If you are a carer you will have shed tears of frustration, loss, sorrow, or sobbed when tired and just wanted it all to stop.  I questioned how much longer I would have to care for her, and the lost of time that will not be refunded when I couldn't be with my son in the early days.  All these emotions need to be addressed and need to be heard and dealt with.  In later posts I will share some of the ways in which you can use creative activities. 

For today try and organise the tasks that you need to do and find a gentle way of dealing with the emotional issues that come up

                         

You can also click on the 'Celebrating life' image to be taken to the rest of the posts

Yesterday was International Day of Older Persons, what did you managed to do to celebrate the life of an elderly person. You don't have to wait for one special day but can do a little something every day, hear their stories, pass these stories onto the young and continue to celebrate their contribution to your lives and your communities. 

Also check out Silver Sunday which is an annual day of fun and free activities for older people across the UK. Led by The Sir Simon Milton Foundation, it celebrates older people and their contribution to our communities while combating loneliness and isolation. Everyone can get involved, and you can organise your own event, spread the word, or simply attending an activity. Silver Sunday will take place on 5th October 2014!

Reflections and Image - Amanda Trought, Realityarts

In the News - NFL in Regent Street, Cecil Martin, and more!

NFL on Regent Street

I thought I would share the events that happened over the weekend which saw us down at Regent street  I hadn't been down there for a while as I am not one for crowds, and busy shops.  But our reason this time was to take my son to the NFL on Regent Street.  The event is organised by NFLUK and promotes three NFL International Series games to be played at Wembley Stadium which kicked off on Sunday with the Miami Dolphins and the Oakland Raiders.    On Sunday 26th of October the Atlanta Falcons will host the Detroit Lions and ending in November with the Jacksonville Jaguars hosting the Dallas Cowboys. All tickets though are sadly sold out apart from hospitality tickets at £400+ so a trip to this event up town and to see the whole of regent street closed for the day, was something to see.

My son who is a big Atlanta Falcons fan decided to bring his american football kit with him and surprised I wondered exactly how the day would play out.  He has been really enjoying his time training with London Blitz (link) but had been off for quite a while through injury and then exams and he has been itching to get back to training.  Parking the car we suggested that he check if there were loads of other people in their kit and I said to him, what if he was the only one who got the invitation....he shrugged his shoulders. 

 We insisted that he check it out first and walk with us to Regent Street, as it might sway his decision to dress up.  On arriving and seeing everyone in normal dress, apart from the workers he turned and stated that he was going back to the car to get changed.  

Alan and me take a 'selfie'

Me and Alan were surprised and nothing we said made him change his mind, and off he went.

Sekani stepping out in Regent Street

As Sekani made his way back to where we were waiting for him, I stared up and saw this young man standing out from the crowd oblivious to the stir that he had begun to cause.

Sekani bringing joy to Regent Street

We were totally unprepared for the excitement that followed him as he made his way down the street.  Little kids were tugging on their parents and exclaiming 'WOW'.  

Everyone wanted a picture

People were coming up to Sekani and asking to take his picture with them, and rather than being just a spectator he became part of the day interacting with people and bringing smiles to their faces and the attention of the TV cameras. 

Sekani keeping it real

 We felt like his minders as we walked alongside him.

As part of the overall show along Regent Street there were interviews with different coaches, and players. 

Sons of Pitches the UK Acapella group also got in the act...

Sons of Pitches

 There were other bands playing throughout the day. There were plenty of people from all different countries who had come specifically for it alongside the usual tourists who happen to stumble across the event, and lots of interactive activities organised - America had come to London for the day.

Staff dance outside Hamleys

games laid on for the kids

A lot of stores had also used the day to be part of the activities, Hamleys had their staff dress up and do a 'it's a knock out' type event the got all the kids involved and it was great to see. 

lots of other activities for the kids to do

Alan and Sekani in Regent Street

We really enjoyed the day and I guess the highlight for Sekani was meeting Cecil Martin, they had a little chat while I snapped away.  

Sekani and Cecil Martin

encouraging words are exchanged

Sekani Springer and Cecil Martin - Regent Street UK

As the day came to a close we made our way back filled with the events that took place, thinking about the smiles that Sekani brought to not only children but adults as well, this being a result of sticking to his decision to be different and not just be one of the crowd.

Sekani's favorite team - playing later this month at Wembley

Standing proud as an NFL fan

He didn't allow himself to be swayed or concerned by what other people would think, or despite what others said, and there is a lesson to be learn for all of us.  How many times have you felt the conviction to do something, but you stopped yourself because you felt embarrassed or don't want to stick out?  I encourage you  to step out of the box.  There wouldn't be all these great inventions made if everyone decided to play it safe, and stepping out of the mold and not following the crowd can and will give you some amazing results.  I bet there is something that you are sitting on right now that you been holding back from doing, I encourage you to take that step.  

Finished for the day....

Sekani's decision to be different and the impact he made on the crowd bought a smile to my face.  This simple action encouraged me to step out further especially in those times where doubt takes hold.  

Shine your light, be different, take a step for you know not how many people you will encourage on the way, stay blessed.

Ultimate Blog Challenge - Day 1 - 31 Tips for Carers and more!

I am taking part in the Ultimate Blog Challenge where you post every day for the month of October.  I am looking forward to visiting new blogs, gleaning new information and be inspired.  It starts today, and it really makes you wonder where all the year has gone to.

It will be a challenge, and it will also be great if you can stop by for these posts, and check out some of the others that I will be posting.

My focus for the month will be about identifying 31 tips or nuggets of inspiration that might help you if you are a carer, or know someone who is a carer or about to take on the caring role.  My focus is dementia as that is where my experience lies as I look after my mother, but you can adapt it for any other caring setting. I will also include things that you can do for yourself as the carer.  I have written about my journey as a carer and when I did the A-Z challenge a few years ago I focused on aspects of care and things that I had come to my attention as I navigated the role.  I will share a link to the posts at the end of each day and you can go and check them out.

Whilst my mother is physically unable to do much for herself and now uses a wheelchair some of the suggestions will suit both the wheelchair bound and those who are able to walk about. 

Thinking about these activities and tips have helped me, there has been help and support along the way but it didn't always come easy and I have had to adapt to suit our particular situation.  It is not an exhaustive list of ideas but but it is a start and might help you along the way, and help you incorporate creativity into your lives.  I hope that it can be of use to you, share with others, let me know what has worked for you In all cases, adapt to suit your needs and circumstances and above all have fun and be thankful for the day that you have regardless what you are able to do.



Here is the first of the A-Z challenge posts that I have shared that will help you understand our story - A is for Alzheimer’s  You can also click on the 'Celebrating life' image to be taken to the rest of the posts

Today is International Day of Older Persons, what ever you can do to celebrate the life of an elderly person will mean so much in the life of another, do you have any elderly relatives, neighbours that you can check up on and see if there is anything you can do to assist.  Celebrate their contribution to your lives and your communities.  

Also check out Silver Sunday which is an annual day of fun and free activities for older people across the UK. Led by The Sir Simon Milton Foundation, it celebrates older people and their contribution to our communities while combating loneliness and isolation. Everyone can get involved, and you can organise your own event, spread the word, or simply attending an activity.   Silver Sunday will take place on 5th October 2014!

So there we have it, quite a lot to think about and while you prepare yourself for a month of insight, reflection and creativity the first tip is this:

Reflections and Image - Amanda Trought - Realityarts

Quote Wednesday - Anonymous

Quote Wednesday

Finding out who you are is the first step.  Accepting who you are can be the hard part.  Embracing who you are is the fun part...Anonymous

Each day we have the opportunity to learn a bit more about ourselves, don't miss the lesson!  We might not always like what we see but we have the change to create the lives that we dream of...take that leap, you might surprise yourself!

Each Quote Wednesday I share a quote with a photograph that I have taken. Quotes can be so inspiring and uplifting it is a good idea to meditate on the words and make a point of saying something encouraging about your life!  Do something great!  Join me next week for the next inspiring quote and image. Blessings