Sunday, 16 March 2014

Moving Home....Adapting to needs

One of mums many ornaments!

This weekend finds me packing boxes, not of my own home but that of my mums.  Her needs have increased and we needed to find a place that had a lift or easy access for a wheel chair.  I was thinking with my practical head, and I got the boxes and tap and other packing materials ready.  As I have been making my way around the rooms I see that this job is far bigger than I expected it to be. I didn't realize that with every item that I pick up I would be confronted with memories, and times from my childhood, some sadness with the losses, knowing that change has to come.
Moving unearths many things....
As a child I as many do thought my parents would live for ever, never get old, and we would always come back and have dinners on. This was my family home from the age of 7 and quite a number of years have passed.  I understand now why I had to do the 'Memories of Home' posts, for a time like this.  When I first started the posts moving wasn't even a thought, I knew that I needed at some time to do something as mums needs had increased and carrying a wheelchair up the stairs has been impacting on my own health, but thought I had more time.  Anyway each room holds it's own memories that I have been savoring.
Hands off! Some of dads prized glasses
When we were little, my dad brought a drinks cabinet that held a large array of glasses that we were never allowed to use, so many tumblers, wine, liqueur and champagne glasses - it wasn't as if he was a drinker.  They were for best in case we had visitors, the glasses sit all uniform side by side, we kept up the tradition when my dad died of periodically dusting and not allowing our kids to use them.  Mum would say that one day a section of the cabinet and the contents would be passed each of the children, how do you sound grateful and turn down the offer,  we have no room in our own homes.  Now Robert has gone, mums new place has no space, it has to find a new home.
Jugs and glasses fill the cabinet
There are so many things that we have collected that recapture the memories and that connection that was once thought forgotten, I have been showing some of them to mum to see if it sparks some memories for her. We all reminiscence at some point whether it is talking about something we did 20 years ago or last month.
Egg cups we used as children

Looking around my mums home I am reminded of many things of my past that as children we used, the egg cups above had a lid to keep them warm, mum would make us egg and soldiers that we would dunk.
Soda Stream, one of the earlier kinds!
Soda stream – this is one of the older versions that my dad would use and we would have sparkling drinks, we used it quite a lot in favor of the fizzy drinks you could buy in the shops.

This statue is one that my dad got and has been in the family for years, not sure where he got it from, it is funny that the things that were so precious for one person might not be so for another and when you are gone you can't take it with you.  I am going to make up a memory box out of things that would trigger a memory that could be a talking point to spark my mums memory, for some of them it will just have to be the photograph!  

We turn a corner and I busy myself again with wrapping up glasses and plates and seeing what can find a new home, this week will definitely be a busy one and every now and again an emotional roller-coaster, but also provide comfort as we remember and take stock of our lives. 

What will this week hold for you?


  1. Hi Amanda .. I know what you're going through .. I struggled with my mother's things .. but she in fact had decluttered herself of a lot. We also had my uncle ... lots went to the Hospice - and they turn it into cash ... it saved trying to make other decisions ... we each had the opportunity to absorb what we could into our own lives ...

    It's just not easy - especially as it was your family home for so long .. I do hope your mother will have a comfortable compassionate home to go to .. but I know you'll be there for her - and that's what is so necessary for our very dear ones at this time of their life.

    My thoughts - Hilary

  2. Hilary we are still sorting things, trying to let go of the emotional attachments that come with 'stuff' I was the same with my dad things, wanted to keep it all. But the new place can only hold so much and has an airy feel, so we don't want to clutter it up again. It is definitely a learning curve!


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