3 Creative Tips for Carers: Nurturing Yourself in the Caring Role

Introduction

Being a caregiver is a role filled with love, compassion, and dedication, but it can also be incredibly demanding and emotionally taxing. In this blog post, we'll explore three creative tips for carers that not only encourage self-care but also enhance the caregiving experience.

As someone who has cared for a loved one with dementia, I understand the importance of finding moments of respite and self-expression. As we look at these tips think about how you can incorporate creativity in your own journey.

Tip 1: Embrace Creative Activities for Self-Renewal

As a caregiver, it's easy to get caught up in the daily routine of providing care for your loved one. However, it's crucial to remember that taking care of yourself is just as important. One way to achieve this is by embracing creative activities that allow you to express yourself and find solace in the midst of your responsibilities.

During my time as a caregiver for my mother, who battled dementia until 2022, I discovered that creativity became my sanctuary. Engaging in activities such as art journaling, and writing provided an outlet for my emotions but also allowed me to step away from the constant demands of caregiving even if it was for 5 minutes. These moments of self-renewal were essential for maintaining my own well-being.

Whatever time you might have available there is a creative activity that you can try out.  Find a creative pursuit that speaks to your heart. Dedicate time to this activity regularly, even if it's just a few minutes a day. It will help you recharge and bring a sense of balance to your life.

Tip 2: Share Creative Moments with Your Loved One

Caring for someone doesn't mean sacrificing all the activities you love. In fact, involving your loved one in creative endeavors can create meaningful connections and beautiful memories. Consider sharing your creative moments with them.

For example, if you enjoy painting, set up a space where both you and your loved one can create together. Even if their abilities have been affected by their condition, the act of creating art can be a source of joy and connection. It's a wonderful way to engage with them on a different level and create lasting, positive experiences.  

This is exactly what I did with my mum, I asked her if she would draw something for me, got out a few supplies and we both sat at the kitchen table enjoying our creative activity and each other's company.  I had some music playing in the background and a light snack for when she wanted a break, but she spent the next hour focused on her activity.

Be patient and adapt the activities to their abilities and interests. These shared moments can strengthen your bond and offer a welcome break from the routine of caregiving.

Tip 3: Connect with a Creative Community

Caregiving can often lead to isolation, making it essential to seek support and connections outside your caregiving role. One fantastic way to do this is by joining a creative community or group. Whether it's an art class, a writing workshop, or a local crafting club, these communities can provide you with a sense of belonging.  I joined an Art Therapy group run in a local community center and you were able to attend for 6-12 sessions.  There may be initiatives being put on in your area that you can check out and they may have resources to help you.  You can join our online creative community as well HERE

Interacting with others who share your passion for creativity can be therapeutic and uplifting. It allows you to step away from your caregiving duties, even if temporarily, and focus on your own growth and well-being. Additionally, these creative communities often offer a space for self-expression and learning, which can be immensely beneficial for your personal development.

Next Steps

Being a caregiver is a demanding and selfless role, but it's crucial to remember that your well-being matters too. By incorporating creativity into your caregiving journey, you can find moments of solace, foster connections with your loved one, and build a supportive community around you. Whether it's through painting, writing, or any other creative pursuit, nurturing your own creativity can help you maintain balance and find joy in your role as a caregiver. 

Join me on my Realityarts Course Platform where I have a series of FREE courses and digital projects that you can access.  Find out more HERE

So, what creative activities do you do to help you unwind and relax? Share your experiences and ideas with us in the comments below, and let's inspire each other to embrace creativity in our caregiving journey.

On the Blog

Check out my Tips for Carers and A-Z of Dementia, Carers Journey

Saying Goodbye to Mum

A life's Celebration

Mavis Trought

I have over the years shared my journey with my mother who was living with Dementia for the past 20 years.  It has been a journey and a half, insightful, sad at times, full of joy and laughter, and now loss, - You can see some of my posts in 'A Carer's Journey'

A Journey's End

My mothers physical journey on this earth ended on the 30th July at approximately 1am in the morning. She was 99 years old an amazing feat by far and gracefully slipped from our grasp as she now mixes and mingles with those who have gone before us. 

Mavis in her younger days

During the month of August I stepped back from my usual routine to focus on what needed to be done - funeral arrangements, then dealing with the day, and what her no longer being physically with us meant for me and my sister.

Mum loved to draw

We have been reminiscing on the impact that she had on our lives growing up and how we move forward without all the routines and habits around her care that had been formed, and interacting with her on so many other ways from the expressions on her face, touch - holding hands to the words that she would share with us.  The song 'Dancing Queen' by Abba along with 'One Love' - Bob Marley were two of her favorite songs and she loved to dance.

Always the opportunity to dance

We celebrated her life, and loves, with family and friends who had at one time or another interacted with her on so many different ways.

Sometimes you need to be still to take things in to be able to reflect and step back to take a step forward, and we laugh at her sense of humor and playful character remembering these times with fondness, and will continue to tell her story and share the memories for generations to come.

Many around the world have lost loved ones and continue to do so and I encourage you to think about the memories that you are able to form, continue to talk about your experiences and see where you can spend time with your elders and family members, who have so much wisdom and knowledge to pass on.

Mums memory and spirit lives in us and we will continue to celebrate the impact that she has had on our lives and that of her grandchildren and great grand children to come.

Dementia and Care - Asking for Help

Asking for Help

Being a carer for nearly 17 years to my mother who is living with dementia had it's ups and downs.  Amidst the feelings of hopelessness, guilt, anger and everything in between, there was joy, laughter, dancing and someone not wanting to leave the dance floor, (and it wasn't me!!!)  I shared some of my journey HERE

For those who knew mum before the dementia developed into the more severe stages they would think back and smile at her beautiful personality that always lit up a room, I am so glad I took so many videos and photographs of her

I  knew that at some point I would need to express how I felt the emotions that I experienced as a carer, those true and honest feelings that we very often keep hidden - whilst I shared the practicalities without emotion.  I wanted to share the ups and downs and how I dealt with them.  

Each post that I will share touches on an emotion but essentially I hope if you are or have experienced the same thing then you would have the strength to share your voice as well and not stay isolated - some feel it is a sign of weakness if you share what you are going through.  I think it is perfectly alright to share how you feel not everyone is going to get it, like it or you for that matter.  Not everyday is a bed of roses, and those are few and far between when all you seem to be laying on is the thorns.

What ever emotion you feel after watching the video it is alright!  Alright that you feel that way, but make sure that you listen to the message that is really the essence of the video.

The message is..... -  it is alright to ask for help, we don't have to carry this world and its cares on our own.  My triggers I guess are around the emotional ties of food.  If you didn't finish your food then you wouldn't be able to leave the table, that's what we were told when we were little.  At an early age my son was a fussy eater and I thought I wasn't looking after him well enough because he wouldn't eat at set times.  The health visitor after I shared with her said just let him enjoy and play with his food, put paper down to catch any he decides to fling, he won't starve himself, and you can take the pressure off yourself.  Admitting that there was a problem and how I felt she was able to make a suggestion that helped so much, and was the first glimpse for me about the emotional ties that I had with food.

Come Full Circle

Mum began to store liquid in her mouth about 8 years ago, I coped,  but as it went on it got more difficult to deal with as you would have to physically remove it from her mouth which could be upsetting.  At one point the health visitors words about my son and not wanting to eat rang in my mind, and perhaps mum wasn't ready to eat, or maybe she didn't want what I was giving her.  Obviously there are the issues that might be about the dementia and the effects, but it was something that I couldn't control and perhaps she was trying to gain control and some independance.  If you don't finish your food you can't leave the table or have any pudding... what then, sometimes mum went all day with liquid in her mouth.  The emotions I began to feel were the same ones that I felt when my son wouldn't eat, that you failed at nurturing - what does that say about you now??? The Critic can be quite brutal, but that's for another post.

Asking for Help

There are people around you that are either waiting for you to ask them or for you to let go of the reigns and let them in to help you.  Though most see you 'seemingly cope' and feel that you have it worked out, don't know what to say to you or what help to offer.  It is alright to not have it all together, or worked out.  Dementia affects more than just the person living with it, but the wider community, and as a community if we all gave our support however small that is then families would feel less isolated and more connected and our elderly wouldn't be shut away in homes with no visitors.

I will be sharing more thoughts on my feelings over the coming weeks, in Art Journalling, video and blog, I hope you are blessed and share what you may be going through, how you deal with it, are there any creative activities that you use? You are not in this alone.

Think about the emotional attachments that you may have that are informing your current situation. 

*  What do you need to let go of?

*  What areas can you ask for help?

*  identify 2 people and ask

Stay blessed and be a blessing.

Saving Yourself - When you feel like your disappearing

Saving Yourself When you feel like your disappearing addresses the need for us to make sure we think about our own health and well-being on a daily basis.

Have you ever found yourself doubting your own feelings and emotions, or that your feelings didn’t matter? Do you even know how you feel right now?  You sometimes hear people talk about how you should be feeling based on their own needs, but they never really ask you, and never seem to have the time to listen to what you might have to say.

It is easy to feel as if 'you' don't matter, you’re not used to shining the light on yourself and you really don't want to make a fuss when people don't acknowledge just how much you have done for them.

Lots of us go through this problem, we've spent years caring for others, whether it is our children, someone else’s children or we've cared for an elderly relative.  We often find it difficult to think of what it is that we do like and it seems as if we have slowly eroded who we thought we were.  Often not being able to answer the question 'what is your favorite......?'

I can totally relate as I found that when I was caring for my mother with dementia and when my son was little I often felt that I didn't know who I was any more.  I spent the majority of my time trying to cater for the needs of another that I didn't know what I wanted, or how I felt and it has been a long journey to rediscover the 'me' I know I can be.

I found that when I didn't have some 'me' time whether it was 5 minutes or 2 hours, this was when I was more likely to feel undervalued emotionally drained and stuck just longing to be rescued somehow!

The easiest way to ensure that this feeling of stuck-ness doesn't happen is finding that much needed time, even if it is 5 minutes you need to schedule it and put it in your diary.  Let others know that you are taking the time, set your watch and go do something creative.

I have 5 easy things that you can incorporate into your day you can do all 5 or just one and this will help you fit creativity into your day and jump start your creativity

1.  Write down your ideas, you know you have them.  Find yourself a set of index cards, or write in a journal and list them, things that you might want to do, try out, go see.  When you start writing things down it helps take you to the next step of putting them into action.  Dust out those corners of your mind and see how many you can come up with in 10 minutes – you can give yourself 10 minutes right?

2.  Identify all the things that you can do in a short space of time say 5 minutes for you, list them, and these are the things that you will take the time out to do when you have shorter pockets of time to spend on yourself.

3.  Take your time – whenever you schedule time for yourself focus on what it is that you are doing, don’t try and do a whole range of things, value you in that space at that moment and really enjoy spending time on you!

4.  Where can you go for inspiration?  Think of places you can go, it could initially be around your neighbourhood, the local park, a garden, you might be able to incorporate a once a week trip to a museum, or gallery.

5.  Try something new! Think about the art supplies that you have and try something different, you might use them in a different way, or try a new technique, just allow yourself to play.

Once you start giving yourself this much needed time you will find that you’re not so stressed, and you can breathe again.  You might even be able to hear the birdsong outside your window!

What one do you think you will try first?

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Stay blessed and be a blessing

Amanda