M is for Motherhood

Limosine ride in Florida

As a mother there is a perception that you would automatically be able to care, you nurture and grow your young and care for the elderly - sometimes you want to switch the button off and care about yourself.  As I adapt to the growing maturity of my 16 soon to be 17 year old son who at times thinks that he knows everything and wants to do it all himself and be independent with his talk of learning to drive, university, living abroad etc.... I know I have to let go in order for him to grow.

I don't always see myself as a carer, the term can be so impersonal aren't we all supposed to care? I understand the term carer attempts to represent the variety of roles that are undertaken, but it still falls short, all the books in the world still can't prepare you for the emotional rollercoster ride you experience.  What has been helpful has been sharing with those who have been in a caring role who can speak frankly about their experience.

It can sometimes feels like I have been given responsibility for a fully grown 'child' like in the Curious Case of Benjamin Button.  I battle with knowing the 88 year old woman who use to be independent wants to do everything for herself but can't.  I watch her drift off in thought and wonder if she contemplates about those unfulfilled dreams she had when she was younger.

Mum talking on the radio about Mothers day

My overriding joy I have as a mother looking after my mother is that I may not be able to give her the dreams of things she wanted to do when she was younger, perhaps I can help her achieve those things that she never dreamt she would be doing.

Words so far....

A is for Alzheimer’s, B is for Behaviour, C is for Carer, D is for Dependant, E is for Enough, F is for Fear, G is for Guilt, H is for Health Professionals, I is forIdentity, J is for Judgement K is for Knowledge, L is for Love, 

These posts are part of the A-Z Challenge taking place during the month of April.  I have been sharing about my experience as a carer to a mother with Dementia.  If you would like to know more join the Arts in Health Network and also check out my website for information on some of the work I have done with Creativity and Dementia.